do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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