I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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