K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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