Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize