he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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