do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
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He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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