Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize