Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
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Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
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My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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