i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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