Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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