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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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