I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
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I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
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Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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