I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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