My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So. Much. Porn.
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