so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
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All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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