so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize