there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
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This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
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I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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