i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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