I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize