I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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