not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
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If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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