You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
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He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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