i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize