This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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