I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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