I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize