I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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