hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize