Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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