He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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