i jhust puked up my retainher.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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