This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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