you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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