Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize