Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize