I am spending my child support on dildos
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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