I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize