do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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