I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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