If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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