Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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