The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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