woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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