either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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