my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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