spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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