I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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