TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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