We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize