Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
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WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
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I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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